Legilimens
by VVish
Summary: Harry still goes to Snape's office to learn Occulumency, but he ends up learning a bit about how Snape really felt about Lily Evans.


**Disclaimer:** Belongs to JKR. nuff said now read.

Bloody, freaking Harry Potter, and his stupid incapability to learn Occumulency. Why couldn't Moody teach him? Then he remembered that Moody was Death Eater crazed and more obsessed with exploding buttocks rather than teaching a 16 year-old boy how to block his mind from others.

He laughed at the thought of Potter blowing off his own buttocks, but quickly sobered. Potter looked so much like his father James, and yet they were so different. And his eyes reminded Severus of- Someone knocked. Three guesses who it was.

"Come in," Severus drawled. Ah. Speak of the devil…. In came the famous Harry Potter and his big, fat head. He wasn't all that different from the late Potter Sr.

"Sir."

"Potter, let's just get this over with. On my wand, 1 - 2 - 3… _Legilimens!_"

_He was on a field, running away from an ugly mutt. Ripper, he believed Potter once called it in one of their previous lessons. A fat boy stood at the sidelines accompanied by an even fatter woman. They were laughing at him and Potter/he turned his head in shame. _

The thing bit into his -scratch that- Potter's thigh. It bit harder, tearing in muscles and ligaments. He shut his eyes and let out a short cry of pain.

When he opened his eyes again he was back in his office. He wiped the sweat off his forehead and checked his thigh. Seeing that there was no lasting injury he glanced at Potter.

"How old were you?"

"Six. It was my birthday." Potter was smirking. Severus thought that those smirks were only taught in the Slytherin common room.

Harry Potter's little sob story was nothing compared to Draco Malfoy's life. "What, Professor? Couldn't handle it?"

"I handled it quite well, Mr. Potter. More resistance this time. _Legilimens!_"

Harry fought back and countered Snape's spell with his own shout of "_Protego!_"

_He remembered the first time he saw her. She was arguing with James Potter. Severus sneered. Potter's family was well known for its alliance with the light. She was dripping wet. Apparently Potter had decided to tip her boat over. _

_She was pretty, he decided. Normally he would have thought that she looked extremely pale with her red hair contrasting against her skin. _

_Lucius, the boy him to make "friends" with looked where he was staring at, and sneered. "Mudblood." He called out. Severus heard himself snicker at her._

_

* * *

It was after the "incident" in fifth year, and Potter and Black had been caught by Professor Mcgonagall. Both were assigned separate detentions with Filch, not that that had mattered. Potter and Black were always attached at the hip, and always had some form of communication. _

_Anyways, after the incident he had caught up with Lily. Her face was impassive, but her eyes betrayed her. Severus had always thought she had rather expressive eyes. _

_Back to the point, he could tell that she was hurt. She walked faster, heading for the Gryffindor common rooms probably. He had a faint idea where it was. _

_"Lily, wait up!"_

_She paused and looked back at him. "You know what, Snape?" She spat his name out of her mouth as if it were poison on her lips. "I had always thought you were different form the rest of them. Well I guess I was wrong. Despicable." She slapped him and walked away only to be joined up down the corridor by Potter._

_His cheek stung, but that wasn't what hurt him. She called him Snape. _

"But I didn't mean any of it, I swear. I love-" She was gone and his words were left fresh on his lips, only heard by the cold, stone walls.

It was useless. He would always be second best to James Potter.

_

* * *

Severus found himself surrounded by people outside a house that was in the village called Godric's Hollow. The place was swarmed with aurors, and on top of it all, there was a Dark Mark above the house. No pun intended. The place reeked of death. _

_His throat was choked up but he couldn't help his feet from moving towards it. He paused at what he saw next. _

_James Potter was lying haphazardly on the stairs. His eyes were fear-stricken. The Dark Lord must have used the killing curse on him while Potter was guarding the room by the door. _

_Damn him…that Potter. He probably even fell down the stairs gracefully. Severus walked to him and ran his hands down Potter's face, closing his eyes._

_He continued walking up the stairs, the feeling of dread increasing with every step he took. Turning into the room was a nursery. Lily. His- no Potter's Lily._

_His mind flooded with memories of her. How she walked and acted when she was scared, happy, or sad. He remembered how he hated how she talked to him after the "incident", like she pitied him or something. _

_He hated her eyes, not that they were green, but how they really looked at everything. He hated how it felt like she was looking inside him. Analyzing him. _

But what he hated most of all was the fact that he didn't hate her. No, he could never hate Lily.

_He heard footsteps in the house and felt panicked. There were two aurors in the room watching him now, but he didn't care._

_He walked next to her and picked up her hand. Immediately, he dropped it. It was ice cold. This wasn't Lily…. The real Lily was warm and vibrant, while this one was cold and distant. He hugged her, trying to get her warmer, but the aurors pulled him away from her._

_"Take him to St. Mungo's." Said the tall one. _

_"No…please stop. She's so cold! So cold… cold." He shivered, his teeth chattering and he fell, unconsciously, into a deep slumber filled with images of red hair and soul-seeing, green eyes._

_

* * *

_

It was bright again and Severus blocked the unwanted light. His eyes fell upon Potter. "Get out," he hissed, masking his face and voice from all emotions.

He didn't think he could stand being near the boy-who-lived. Not the boy who was practically the mirror image of the man that Lily had fallen in love with.

Potter left, and Severus Snape laughed at the irony of it all, until reality hit him. Then he wept, alone.

**a/n:** Hope it was okay. I'm not really good with angst, so im not sure if yea. Review please? I need some feedback.


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